In LOVE with

In love with :

Music (can anyone really live without it?)
Chelsea (true blue always!!)
Food (biriyani deserves special mention)
Aritra (needs no explanation)
Eclecia (new found love)
South Point (old love)
Denver (u fill up my senses!)
Dan Brown (breathtaking)
Aritra & Mayank (had to mention them together)
Nascent (freshers’ welcome)
Mathematics (still my favourite subject)
Her (yeah I do love her)
Floyd (feel closer to heaven)
Brazil (samba)
Jana gana mana
Guitar (my 1400 worth true tone)
Chatting (unnecessarily wasting my time away)
Chasbas (credits to Farmville)
Heritage (present love)
Butin & Tampu(these 2 are obvious)
Money (who doesn’t love u?)
Her again
Black t-shirts (do I have any of other colour?)
Movies (sorry cant single out one)
India
Rehman (genius)
Nettech (spend the best one month of life with them at SMIT)
Life (I just love the ups & downs of it although some of it is quite unpleasant)
Blue (my fav colour though I hav this tremendous affinity towards black)
Chetan Bhagat (love his style)
AXN The Amazing Race (coz dats what life is)
SMSing (best way to keep contact)
Tv (idiots do prefer idiot box)
Her again
Parents (don’t show, but I guess I do)
Career Launcher classes (my love for Maths & English)
Sine curve (this needs a huge explanation)
Sadness (coz that when u get to enjoy happier times)
My diary (holding some of my deepest ‘secrets’)
Blogging (sorry! I ignore it at times)
The Kite Runner(for u a thousand times over)
Kutkuting (orkut,facebook,twitter)
Her again
& finally
MYSELF

What facebook says

Well this is not what i have written about me,but what facebook has returned in a couple of quizzes!And well i guess most of the predictions match!


You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You’re usually expressive... Open about your emotions an...d most of the time willing to talk about it.

You love deeply... you may flirt along and people think you’re a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.

You have so many ideas in mind... You’re creative and aggressive! If you want something, you’ll do anything to get it!

You’re an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend... You don’t care if your partner doesn’t really love you as long as you love him/her. You give your all...

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

You’re independent! You’re also risky just like the bajaken who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures!


When people look into your eyes, they see mysteries galore. You're a deep and intellectual person, and others can see that through your sparkling eyes. You're quiet and shy, but once you get to know someone, you become comfortable around them. Your eyes often spark curiousity in others, and it bothers people how they can never tell what you're really thinking. You're hard to read and often hide your true emotions.

The Night I Cried

That day I cried. Buried my head in between two pillows & I cried. The whole night almost. I only stopped when fatigue got the better of my heartbreak. My pillow had never been so wet. It was drenched. My nose got blocked. I choked. A day when even music couldn’t help me overcome the pain. It was a night I’ll never forget. I had never been so much hurt in my entire life. It wouldn’t have hurt me so much had it come from someone I don’t love that much. But when it comes from someone I really love from the deepest core of my heart, my God it hurts like hell. It felt that a blast had taken inside me which couldn’t come out. I love to love people around me without caring if they love me or not. But then if I get this by loving people then I may just lose faith in love. My conscience tells me I’m not a bad guy though I may have many faults. It tells me I understand the true meaning of friendship, the true meaning of love & how to love the people around me. I always want to see people around me happy specially the people I love. I just want to love. Make this world a better place. But I get misunderstood. Maybe I should be meaner from now, more selfish & think about myself before thinking about others. Maybe then she will understand me.
But I cried………I cried the whole night…………….the pillow is still wet……….my heart still aches………I live in hope………..I’ll wait…………..I promise to be good………..I’m waiting………& waiting…………& waiting………..till I breathe my last………………..

Sister

Its bhai phonta today. True I have quite a few sisters from whom I get phontas I really miss not having a sis of my own. Well to me until now I find this relation to be the most divine. Among siblings I guess the relation that works out the best is between an elder brother & a younger sis. Many agree to this. It’s a relation where I have been able to love the most & from which I have received the maximum love. My parents may feel sad from such a comment of mine but then at this age that’s what I feel. Maybe if I grow up a bit more & get a bit more mature my perceptions would change. But let’s not delve into future. Sometimes I feel unlucky; sometimes I feel the lack of somebody other than parents & good friends in my life. That is the time I really feel the need of a sister. It’s nobody’s fault that I don’t have a sister of my own. Maybe in my reincarnation I’ll have one. But I really love the ones I have. Cousins they may be, but they are really really special to me. One bade goodbye a bit too early. And the other one I get to see once in every two years almost. Rotten luck! I tried to make some sisters from my very good friends. Didn’t run into any luck there either. So I really fear ‘making’ new sisters these days. I can’t allow this relation to be hurt in any way.
To me probably this relation defines love. At a stage when I was confused at to what love really is this relation taught me a lot. And my fucking heart can love a lot. More than it is capable of!!!! Then it starts to hurt sometimes. But then I don’t care. I just love to love…..

Why does this mess happen with me always? Is it because I love so deeply? But I thought if I can love it is a virtue not a vice. The world doesn’t seem to think in the same way as I do. And there lies the problem. But at the end of everything one thing is common. I get hurt. Big time. I cry,shout,tear,scream. But silently. So that the people around me cant understand anything. They have their own set of problems. Why bother them? I’ve always identified myself as a problem solver not a problem creator. But the world sometimes forgets that this problem solver can also get hurt. Then this problem solver finds no other problem solver around. Pain pain & more pain. But then I know how to recover. And I do end up recovering somehow. But not before it has left a deep cut in my heart. I hope my heart is big & strong enough to withstand all these cuts. Now a days I even fear making friends. Coz I might just end up losing that person again. To be specific I fear loving people now. If this goes on someday the devil might take over my soul. Then will it be good for the world???????

where is the love?

Love fears me. It thinks I’m hatred & I’m gonna eat it up. So it never comes to me easily. And whenever it comes,it leaves even faster keeping me alone. Stranded. Alone & crying. There seems to be too much hubris in its attitude. As if I don’t deserve it at all. Fcuk man, fcuk. Yeah I know I’m not the best person on earth but not so bad that I don’t deserve it at all. People worse than me in many respects get a lot of it. Foook. And in the end it is me who is left cursing love. I ask my conscience ‘Am I a good guy?’ The answer is always a big YES. And to be frank I never pressurize my conscience to give out an affirmatory answer. I am true to my conscience. Very very true coz I don’t believe in cheating myself. Still the guy called love eludes me. Plays hide n seek with me. According to the laws of probability I should be able to catch it by now. But I keep missing it. Maths fails in these respects. I fail. I can only hope that love wins. Else this won’t be a better world to live on. I always pray that the love that never enters my life at least enters the life of all those I love. I can only hope that those people keep on smiling for the rest of their lives & remain happy. If they are happy even the absence of love in my life cant make me sad!!!!!

CA ya CO?

Hmm. So exams over. Exam full of controversies. Went to give CA exam. Got a CO paper(around 50%). Still gave exam. Kudos to us! Kudos to WBUT! I laughed throughout the exam. Was trying to get something or the other from Nilu & Arindam. But their condition was no good either. So bravely copied almost all the questions. Wrote some gibberish. And when even my gibberish stock got over I merrily wrote ‘Out of Syllabus’. That was just an awesome experience. Think of it. You go to write history exam & you find you have been given the political science paper. And people try to justify it saying that since you have read that in previous year you should remember it! God! Help those poor people affected by Aila & the people of WBUT. Tell them there is a syllabus. Tell them generally in sane universities papers are set according to syllabus! Had it happened in JU or BESU there would have been furious student protest about this. Star Ananda won’t have wasted any moment covering it. And a huge furore would have been created. Would have resulted in another hostel evacuation. Calling the police,the RAF & what not! But we are true exponents of Gandhigiri. ‘When the enemy slaps you in one cheek, show him the other cheek’. Only this time the enemy slapped in the other one also. And it goes on slapping. Ouch! Ouch! It hurts man. But who cares? WBUT? WORST BENGAL UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLGY! Yeah they do. They care a lot. They carefully mess up the paper again in the next sem! Really responsible people! Else how can MBA people get engineering questions?
God knows what’s in store for us. Next time we might even get a biotech paper!

‘Kotoi rongo dekhi duniyay!’