Sister

Its bhai phonta today. True I have quite a few sisters from whom I get phontas I really miss not having a sis of my own. Well to me until now I find this relation to be the most divine. Among siblings I guess the relation that works out the best is between an elder brother & a younger sis. Many agree to this. It’s a relation where I have been able to love the most & from which I have received the maximum love. My parents may feel sad from such a comment of mine but then at this age that’s what I feel. Maybe if I grow up a bit more & get a bit more mature my perceptions would change. But let’s not delve into future. Sometimes I feel unlucky; sometimes I feel the lack of somebody other than parents & good friends in my life. That is the time I really feel the need of a sister. It’s nobody’s fault that I don’t have a sister of my own. Maybe in my reincarnation I’ll have one. But I really love the ones I have. Cousins they may be, but they are really really special to me. One bade goodbye a bit too early. And the other one I get to see once in every two years almost. Rotten luck! I tried to make some sisters from my very good friends. Didn’t run into any luck there either. So I really fear ‘making’ new sisters these days. I can’t allow this relation to be hurt in any way.
To me probably this relation defines love. At a stage when I was confused at to what love really is this relation taught me a lot. And my fucking heart can love a lot. More than it is capable of!!!! Then it starts to hurt sometimes. But then I don’t care. I just love to love…..

Why does this mess happen with me always? Is it because I love so deeply? But I thought if I can love it is a virtue not a vice. The world doesn’t seem to think in the same way as I do. And there lies the problem. But at the end of everything one thing is common. I get hurt. Big time. I cry,shout,tear,scream. But silently. So that the people around me cant understand anything. They have their own set of problems. Why bother them? I’ve always identified myself as a problem solver not a problem creator. But the world sometimes forgets that this problem solver can also get hurt. Then this problem solver finds no other problem solver around. Pain pain & more pain. But then I know how to recover. And I do end up recovering somehow. But not before it has left a deep cut in my heart. I hope my heart is big & strong enough to withstand all these cuts. Now a days I even fear making friends. Coz I might just end up losing that person again. To be specific I fear loving people now. If this goes on someday the devil might take over my soul. Then will it be good for the world???????

where is the love?

Love fears me. It thinks I’m hatred & I’m gonna eat it up. So it never comes to me easily. And whenever it comes,it leaves even faster keeping me alone. Stranded. Alone & crying. There seems to be too much hubris in its attitude. As if I don’t deserve it at all. Fcuk man, fcuk. Yeah I know I’m not the best person on earth but not so bad that I don’t deserve it at all. People worse than me in many respects get a lot of it. Foook. And in the end it is me who is left cursing love. I ask my conscience ‘Am I a good guy?’ The answer is always a big YES. And to be frank I never pressurize my conscience to give out an affirmatory answer. I am true to my conscience. Very very true coz I don’t believe in cheating myself. Still the guy called love eludes me. Plays hide n seek with me. According to the laws of probability I should be able to catch it by now. But I keep missing it. Maths fails in these respects. I fail. I can only hope that love wins. Else this won’t be a better world to live on. I always pray that the love that never enters my life at least enters the life of all those I love. I can only hope that those people keep on smiling for the rest of their lives & remain happy. If they are happy even the absence of love in my life cant make me sad!!!!!

CA ya CO?

Hmm. So exams over. Exam full of controversies. Went to give CA exam. Got a CO paper(around 50%). Still gave exam. Kudos to us! Kudos to WBUT! I laughed throughout the exam. Was trying to get something or the other from Nilu & Arindam. But their condition was no good either. So bravely copied almost all the questions. Wrote some gibberish. And when even my gibberish stock got over I merrily wrote ‘Out of Syllabus’. That was just an awesome experience. Think of it. You go to write history exam & you find you have been given the political science paper. And people try to justify it saying that since you have read that in previous year you should remember it! God! Help those poor people affected by Aila & the people of WBUT. Tell them there is a syllabus. Tell them generally in sane universities papers are set according to syllabus! Had it happened in JU or BESU there would have been furious student protest about this. Star Ananda won’t have wasted any moment covering it. And a huge furore would have been created. Would have resulted in another hostel evacuation. Calling the police,the RAF & what not! But we are true exponents of Gandhigiri. ‘When the enemy slaps you in one cheek, show him the other cheek’. Only this time the enemy slapped in the other one also. And it goes on slapping. Ouch! Ouch! It hurts man. But who cares? WBUT? WORST BENGAL UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLGY! Yeah they do. They care a lot. They carefully mess up the paper again in the next sem! Really responsible people! Else how can MBA people get engineering questions?
God knows what’s in store for us. Next time we might even get a biotech paper!

‘Kotoi rongo dekhi duniyay!’

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Happy Birthday!

It is her birthday today! 25^th of Baisakh. A person whom I loved from the deepest core of my heart. And there is absolutely no doubt that she loved me the same way. There are very few people in this world whom I really fall in love with. She was one of them. We shared such moments of bliss together. Moments that made her smile, made me smile. Moments that made the world a happier place to live-for her, for me, for people all around us. Moments that made her forget probably what was some horrible past for her. Her smile, her anger, her tears, her activities- everything was so beautiful in its own way! We had a blast during her birthday last year. And she was looking absolutely stunning! Nobody could take their eyes off her. A certain tiara on her head made her more beautiful.

There were moments we spent together. Just the two of us. Moments of bliss. Her wide sweet smile, her energy, exuberance, her charm always left me floored. There never was a more beautiful person in this world. And probably there never will be one either! She liked to sit on my stomach & jump about on it. Pulling my hair with all her might was probably her favourite activity. And the tiger soft toy! She probably loved it more than anything in this world. Sadly even me!

But that’s it. She is no more. Any more reminiscence of her would make me cry now. Something I couldn’t do when she actually left me. I couldn’t cry. I don’t know why. But I just couldn’t. So huge was the shock. She is in her own la-la-land now far from me, from us & the erstwhile world she belonged to!

All I can say now is

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!”

(what would have been her second birthday)

 

 

PJ Collection 2

1.A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window.A cat sees it, and takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground.
Why?
Because 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita

2.Three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started singing the song'AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE'.Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died......any idea why?????
COZ the song is HIT ......

3.Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?
think
socho socho
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!

4.How would u calculate volume of a person whos memory is lost????
Think.......
its 1/3(pi*r*r*h)
do u know why.............
b'coz he repeatively says,"mein CONE hun???".

4.Ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........
sweets ... nops
think
are yaar
Birla White Cement
"kyunki iske ander jaan hai......."

5.Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by
Chennai???
.
Think......
.
.
.
.
.
Think..
.
.
.
.
Bit more.......
.
.
Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
chen..nai...